eurovision!

Sunday 13th May 2007

Those of you who are not interested in the technical bits can skip straight to Monday.

A few more words about the Moulton. I mentioned that it was a bit non-standard. Originally, it came fitted with Shimano electronic Auto-D 4 speed gears. I wanted to keep the hub, as it is so smooth and quite. Unfortunately, Mr Shimano has inscrutably stopped making them, so some parts are hard to obtain.

To say I had a few problems is a bit of an understatement...
Problem 1): how to retrofit manual changer in place of the Auto-D control unit, when Shimano have discontinued these products.
Solution: bought a 7-speed changer, and put an old 4-speed bezel on it from a combined changer and brake lever. (unfortunately the numbers don't line up - when it says "3" you're actually in 4th) See photo.

Problem 2): 4 speeds is not quite enough for the hills around here, twelve might be a better bet.
Solution: fit a front triple chain-set, front derailleur, and a chain tensioner.

Problem 2a): front triple chain-rings don't line up with the sprocket at the back.
Solution: fit a narrower Bottom Bracket axle. (but not too narrow, as there is a suspension pivot bolt close by)

Problem 2b): the 42-32-22 chain-set you thought might work is a no-no, because there is a frame brace on the Moulton right where you want to clamp the front changer.
Solution: fit a 48-38-24 chain-set, 24 being the fewest teeth available on a chain-set with 110/74 Bolt Circle Diameter.

Problem 2c): Seat tube too fat for conventional front changer clamp.
Solution: modify the clamp on a 34.9 mm diameter front changer to take it to 38.1 mm.

Problem 2d): No rear derailleur hanger to allow fitting of a chain tensioner.
Solution: Make one by salvaging a rear dropout from an old bike and bolting it onto the inside face of the dropout.

Problem 2e): "Mr Control" chain tensioner a bit lacking in the tension department.
Solution: graft an old derailleur cage onto the "Mr Control" mounting bracket, and throw the other bits into the spares bin.

Problem 3) the resultant 12 speeds is STILL not enough for the Big Hill.
Solution: fit two sprockets on the Nexus hub (thanks to Sheldon Brown for intimating that such a thing is possible). Do this by brazing a 30 tooth sprocket (from a cannibalised screw on block) onto the face of a standard Shimano 18 tooth sprocket.

Problem 3a): Chain catching base of front derailleur cage.
Solution: make cage deeper by brazing a new section 5mm deep to the base.

Problem 3b): how do you select between ratios on the new "Club 18-30" rear sprocket cluster?
Solution: Fit old Sun Tour rear derailleur and friction shifter from spares bin.

Voila, 24 gears! And it goes up the Big Hill! OK a few niggles, like some "grinkling" in certain gears, but it works.

The observant among you will have realised that this bike now has no less than 3 GEAR SHIFTERS! And you would be right! (Y'see, the volume on this Moulton goes up to 11!). See photo – two twist grips and a friction shifter, beat that!

Testing Moulton on the Big Hill.
Time to summit (or somewhat near the summit) 25:40 (with one stop to put the chain back on, after it fell off of the “Club 18-30” rear sprocket).
Max speed down the Big Hill 39.9 mph. Relief at stopping OK at the bottom. Bremsstrahlung!!! (Check that one out, Microsoft spell checker! Hah! Got you! No suggestions!)


Problem 4): how to fit a rear rack
Solution: too mean to buy the authentic Moulton rack, buy one that's designed for a standard suspension mountain bike and spend hours making some steel mounting brackets.

Problem 5): Do you really think this Heath-Robinsonish contraption is going to last the distance from Lands End to John o'Groats?
Solution: back to the drawing board.

Monday 14th May 2007

Been very rainy over the last 24 hours (started yesterday lunchtime). The forecast suggested it might have cleared by this morning, but I very much caught the tail end on my way in. Managed to get the Lead Balloon up the Big Hill and Hillockplex in 27:50, which is probably a best on that bike. Of course, this was all down to some wind assistance, as the wind has gone round to the North East and is blowing all those ragged rain-clouds back down the country from whence they came (should that be "to whence", or just plain "whence"?)

The tyre dumpers have been out again - this time distributing them every 50 yards along the side of the road.

Becks are swollen, and water roaring through culverts. The wind is cold: my left nasal passage gets that feeling when you've just scoffed an ice cream too fast.

As I skootch through rivulets of rainfall running off the moors, I find myself reflecting on our very poor showing in the Eurovision. Obviously much of Europe just didn't get the innuendo of some of the lyrics, which were in the tradition of Julian and Sandy on Round the Horn. I suppose having to follow the high camp effort of the Ukraine entry, made our entry seem a tad too subtle. Not sure why Andorra (population 73.5) gets the same voting power as say Germany or Poland. I say it's time to lump all the telephone votes from every country into the same bucket, and just make the winner the entry who got the most telephone votes. This would cut out all those tedious congratulations when the scores come in from each country.

Any-road-up, so I'm "Flying the Flag" as I go down Pellon Lane into town, which lifts my soggy spirits.

After tethering my steed, I come to the lifts, and they're both there. Rapunzel 2 already has three people, so I lurch in Rapunzel's direction. I guess I've taken her by surprise, but she still tries to close her doors on me as I stride inside. What more proof do you need?

Today’s vital statistics:
Rapunzel (1)* - Rapunzel 2 (2)

* not summoned, so shouldn't count.

Time out: 0:54 (another sub-hour showing - must be improving)

Ah, relief, dry and sunny, but a bit of a Nor’-Wester’ now, threatening heavy showers, which fall elsewhere. Even employing my best aerodynamic tuck, can only reach 30 mph coming down into the village, such is the head-whinge.

Time return: 0:57 mins (pretty creditable)

Tuesday 15th May 2007

30 minutes up the The Big Hill. Today I feel out of tune with my bike. This is probably down to the wind which has gone round again.

Lambs still curious, they look at you as you pass while their mothers munch impassively, making milk.

Tyres in a watercourse and someone has dumped a bit of rusty motorcar further on. Do these people not realise they can dispose of stuff like that at the dumpit site? I recognise the scrap metal as a Sierra rear subframe with differential and prop-shaft. I used to have one of these (not the car, just the sub-frame) when I was building a kit car. This was in the days before I realised that cars are not the way forward.

A grouse diddles across my path a few yards ahead. He stands at the edge of the road playing I-spy with my little eye. In a little under three months he won't be hanging around on street corners; he'll be just another gun-crime statistic.

At this point let me point out that I am not a practising vegetarian, but I do get veggie tendencies at times. I pay to have animals killed for me by someone else, and suffer pangs of guilt when I eat them, as did the Walrus for the oysters in Alice:

"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again? "
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

Scores on the (lift) doors:
Rap (1) - Rap 2 (2)

Time out: 1:00 (we were never going to break any records today).

Way back: sunny, but not too hot, favourable wind, overflown by 2 oystercatchers, 41.2 mph into village, what could possibly spoil this idyllic, er, idyll? Answer: swallowing a fly at 41.2 mph!

Time return 0:55 (What do you run on, Rockette Morton?)

Wednesday 16th May 2007

Last night I tinkered with one of my ever-increasing collection of mirrors – the “Avenir Bar End Mini Mirror” (“Note convex mirror gives larger viewing area but can make images look smaller”). It has a bendy arm, so you can set it to any angle which turns you on. “Will it bounce a bit with that flexible arm?” I had asked the bike shop proprietor before I purchased it. “No”, he lied. So I handed over the dosh (£11.99 for a pair).

The convex mirror makes cars look so far away that one moment they’re a very small pussy-cat, the next they’re upon you like a lion on a wilderbeest. Anyway, I was sure I could improve on this mirror, simply by shortening the bendy part by about an inch. What I should have predicted was that shortening it would change the resonant frequency. Where previously it used to dance, duck and dive like Mohammed Ali in his heyday, now it dithers like Lee Evans on speed.

Before setting off this morning, I decided to jack up the saddle a whopping 2mm. Felt slightly more 'comfortable' (not sure if that's the right word) on the Big Hill. Still took 30 minutes to top, disappointingly.

Plenty of larks and pipits sounding off overhead.

Overcast and cool, just the wrong side of pleasantly.

When does a "cycle lane" become a "cycle route"? The criteria could perhaps be, length, width, location? The implication is that some planning has taken place, and that by using it, you will arrive at some sort of desirable destination. The cycle routes along the 200 mile length of France's Cote d'Argent spring to mind (which the four of us cycled in 1999). So it's a little disappointing when this one stops after 0.3 miles, just short of the Newsagents. I'm talking about the pitiful effort from Mount Tabor in the direction of Halifax which is terminated by a sign proclaiming "End of Cycle Route". Pity the Trades Descriptions Act doesn't apply.

Is it me or is everyone in a hurry today? Cars seem to be roaring around, especially the turbo-diesel 4x4 jobbies. One puny person going from A to B, lugging two tons of steel, glass and rubber, seems a bit excessive to me.

Rap (1) - Rap 2 (2) (We are definitely out of favour with Rapunzel I will say no more on the subject).

Time out: 0:58 (verdict: an easy downhill second half to the run)

Just got home before the rain set in for the evening. Yey!

Succumb to “Stayin' Alive” by the Bee Gees (I sing it to ward off evil road-spirits).

1:03 return (via Flappit)

Next blog

Sunday 6th May 2007

A bit more bike building today. Trying to fabricate a support strut for the rear rack which I bought some time ago for bike 2, which is a Moulton APB. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Moultons, this bike is a small-wheeled job with suspension front and rear, which I was rather hoping would be comfortable to ride over long distances. I really like this bike. Unfortunately, it's got a number of non-standard features which have made modifying it to my requirements rather difficult.

For one, this model has no rear gear hanger, as it came fitted with Nexus 4-speed hub gears (actually the automatic version).
Secondly, the seat tube is larger diameter than standard and has one or two struts which make fitting and positioning front changer a nightmare.
Thirdly, the mounting points for racks are completely non-standard, so you are more or less tied to buying Moulton-specific racks.

I'll spare you the pain of reading about all the problems I've had till a later date (collective sigh of relief).

Tuesday 8th May 2007

Snubbed by the Rapunzels.

Yesterday was Bank Holiday, consequently no work, and no training over the long weekend. Today the weather is well and truly broken. Wet, wild and windy. Tries to blow me off the moorland road on the way to work. Icy rain driving straight into my right hearing-hole on the tops. I try to tell myself that it's only April showers come a little late, but that's no consolation. Not much birdsong under the rattle of rain on my helmet's plastic carapace. But then there's that crazy lark. How can he maintain station in such a buffeting?

Have bought a base layer vest, and used it today for the first time. I'm glad I had it on, as I needed to keep the cold wind and rain out. I still got sweaty, but it helped prevent me from chilling off in the wind on the downhill bits.

Rapunzel 2 takes pity on me as I drag myself in from the storm like a drowned rat (forgive me if I exaggerate for effect). But after my shower, it's a different story: I press the button to go up, and they both pass me by empty in quick succession on their way groundwards. Perhaps they've remembered the scene last Wednesday. After all they do overlook the courtyard where the taxi firm is based, and they must have jealously looked on as I acted the white knight with the car-crash damsel. I take the stairs.

Time out 1:01

On the return, something triggers "Forget myself" by Elbow, but I'm stuck on one catchy phrase which repeats over and over in my mind, for the entire journey.

Ragged dark clouds, running parallel to my course, and, thankfully, in t'other direction.

Time return 1:01 (no intentions of busting a gut today)

Wednesday 9th May 2007

Today oi 'ave mostly bin spotting Crows, Pheasants, Curlews, Larks and an 'Ouse Martin (in that order). Yes, the swallows, swifts and Martins have sneaked
past immigration control and are back here, helping themselves to our insect population from under the beaks of our native species, and burdening our already stressed eco-systems, bloody johnny-foreigner-types.

Seems like Rapunzel 2 has decided to bury the hatchet. But her sister is nowhere to be seen this morning. Perhaps Rapunzel 2 has had her taste of freedom (weekend work at Primark), decided it's not for her, what with all the chavs, screaming babies, old giffers etc, and decided the grass is not greener. Whereas Rapunzel has never seen the outside world, beyond that view into the courtyard, and very much continues to harbour a grudge. Time is a great healer, and I feel she will come down from her high tower eventually.

For those doubters amongst you, I've decided to keep a tally of which of the two Rapunzels arrives when summoned. Then you will perhaps agree that I am not just imagining it.

Time out 0:55 (surely shome mishtake)

Busy at work, so didn't get away till late. Not much to report on the return journey, except WET. Not a vicious soaking, more a “can't avoid it, let's just plug” on sort of rain. (The bike now standing at Halifax North Bridge is the 19:00 to King’s Drenching, calling at Cloudesley, Rainhill, and Wetwang. Passengers for Oxenhope change at Sodden-Under-Wear).

Time return 0:54 (at this rate, I’ll be arriving before I set off!)

Today’s tally:
Rapunzel (0) - Rapunzel 2 (3)

Thursday 10th May 2007

Today is the first day of Georgina’s finals. I send a “good luck” text. She will be finished on the 31st. This concentrates my mind on the fact that we’re less than 2½ months from start of the expedition, and still neither bike is prepped and LEJoG-ready. I’m starting to get a bit panicky.

Also I take a look at the Lead Balloon, and decide some maintenance is long overdue.

First the chain gets a thorough degrease, wash, WD-40 and lube with Teflon oil. The rest of the bike is washed, and I notice some of the paint coming away from the front fork brake mount, and rust showing through. (I did the Taiwanese a disservice last blog – this bike is actually Vietnamese.) Actually the welding in this area is beautifully done, but it’s the finishing that’s lacking. I put some rust-proofer on and wire brush vigorously. Will touch up with paint later. The winter salt has also caused the rear brake cable to look a bit rusty. I spray grease on it, and make a note to replace at a future date.

I have been thinking this bike is coming up on 1000 miles of commuting, and still no punctures (this thought process usually brings on a puncture). I don’t fancy having to repair a puncture en route on this bike, as it’s got some complicated linkages for the brakes and gears. So I inspect the tyres. Sure enough there are five or six tiny shards of glass embedded in the rear tread, and many tiny cuts where “low-level street crime” has been taking place. It’s impressive what a Kevlar belt in the tyre has managed to repel. In pre-Kevlar days, all that glass would have been terminal.

Memo to self: on LEJoG, need daily post-ride maintenance routine, to fettle bikes for next stage. Check brakes (pads and cables) & adjust if necessary, clean & lube chain and gears (check chain for excessive wear), inspect tyre treads, pressures, check steering for play in headset and wheels for play in bearings.

Fine tune Orbit front changer, and manage to get rid of some of the rubbing, but notice the chain is catching on some lobes on the middle chainring when the chain is on the granny ring. Thing I need to fit a different chainset. Let’s get this sorted, before once more turning attentions to the Moulton.

Also found out why the handlebars squeaked. Mountain-bike handlebars in a road bike stem are not quite compatible. Swapped the stem for a mountain bike type.

Oh well, at least I’ve contacted all the sites we intend to stay at, and either booked them, or been told “just turn up”. Just need to book the hotel we plan to stay at in Lancaster (for a little luxury at the half-way mark).

Friday 11th May 2007

Hotel duly booked. So that’s all the stops sorted. (I hope).

Dad the hero!

Sunday 29th April 2007

First proper test drive of the Orbit Expedition frame in Reynolds 520 tubing which I have been building up. It has 26" (i.e. mountain bike size) wheels shod with Panaracer Pasela 26x1.25 tyres, 11-32 tooth 8 speed block at the rear and 48-38-24 tooth triple chainset at the front. Crank length is 170mm, and, as already mentioned, the Brooks saddle. It was my intention to go up the Big Hill on it and get a comparison with my typical commuting times on the Carrera Subway 8.

The Orbit is 2kg lighter, and of course I wasn't carrying my usual commuting load of clothes, towel, fruit, tools, spare inner tube, full water bottle, so this was not a very fair trial. Also this morning the wind was from the East, so
I got some assistance on the ascent.

The only negative was that I didn't have any sort of toe clips (I was both clipless, and clipless-less). Also I was trying very hard not to try very hard, if you catch my drift.

Anyway to cut a long and very boring story short, I got up to my usual check-point in 24min 30 sec. I usually struggle to do this in 30 mins, so RESULT! (No wonder a bewildering array of other cyclists have passed me over the last 3 months).

On the way up, saw the same bird on the same fence post, and he flew away displaying the same white rump. That is a wheatear, says the book. And he only looks bigger than a pipit. He’s actually a similar size.

Verdict on the saddle. Firm yet comfortable (Sofa so good).

A few mechanical problems with the bike:
(1) chain rubs on the front changer when in the extreme rear gears (doubt if Bonjela will sort this teething trouble out: may be able to tune this out with careful adjustment, but may have to live with some rubbing),
(2) handlebars let out an alarming squeal and slipped round in their clamp when I hit a large bump on the way on the down the hill. A slight tweak with allen key sorted this out when I got back to base,
(3) the spokes need tensioning in the rear wheel. There was a bit of a pinging ringing thing going on back there.

Main thing is that the brakes worked well on the descent of the Big Hill.

Monday 30th April 2007

Last day of April. Yesterday was like summer, this morning there's a raw easterly and it's dull. Try hard to try hard on the Big Hill. Do it in 29 and a half mins, so nowhere near yesterday's excellent figure on the Orbit. Feels like the Taiwanese alchemists who crafted this bike's frame from finest Aluminium alloy have lost their touch, and that it has transmuted back to base metal.

380 pedal strokes. Will count the right pedal tomorrow and see if we can average this lot out.

Not many birds to speak about, yet here are a couple of wheatears. Were they there before and I've just started noticing them, or have they just arrived? You know how it is when you buy a car, and suddenly every other car you see is the same model? Well that is the Wheatear effect.

It's cold up here on the tops. My left ear is not a happy bunny, nor are my finger-tips.

After showering, fire alarm goes off (trigger-happy sensors, will probably be classed as "Friendly Fire"). Glad it wasn't during my shower as once happened to me at another place of work. Back then, I reasoned "If the building is burning down, a wet place is probably a good place to be" and finished my shower.

I start back by taking it steady, to conserve energy. I tell myself that "like a good pint of Guinness, this bike cannot be rushed". Still have to stop for a quick energy bar. Damn - should have taken some malt loaf to work!

A blackbird whistles the first six notes of "La Donna e mobile" from Verdi's Rigoletto. Wow they'll be typing Shakespeare next.

Brisk tailwind coming down into the village - Clocked 45+mph (pedalling neither desirable nor required) I think I may nick-name this bike "The Lead Balloon"

Time out 0:58 (some wind assistance in evidence)
Return 0:58

Tuesday 1st May 2007

Crystal clear morning, as befits the first day of May. The lattice work of the mast at the top of the Big Hill is picked out in perfect detail today, whereas yesterday it wasn't even there. A bead of sweat trickles down my breastbone as I tackle the hill. Counting the right pedal strokes today, and starting from the 'horses' sign at the bottom, finishing at the bridlepath sign at the top. The right answer then is 380. Same as yesterday. Let that be an end to it.

Bird population on the tops a cocktail of Lapwing, Curlew, with a strong Wheatear chaser. They're all just shooting the breeze today. I nearly fell off watching a Curlew go overhead. Did I mention the blond in the Audi before? She usually drifts past about here. What's that one with the strangely shaped beak? I'll have to look that one up - maybe it's listed under "Bill Oddities"? (just joshing)

That strong cool easterly is still making its presence felt, but today the sun takes the edge off it.

The sheer volume of cars gets me down on the return journey. I'm contemplating going back over the back road tomorrow, as it's quieter, yet slightly more gruelling.

Time out 0:57 (Is it the global warming, or am I improving by degrees?)
Return 0:53 (conditions similar to yesterday, except fuelled by large fruity flapjack)

Wednesday 2nd May

Passed that fallen tree this morning. It seems to have finally cottoned on to the fact that it is a basket case. The fresh green leaves are beginning to wither (a thousand tiny voices shouting "I can't feel me feet!") Is this what it's like to have MS? First it gets a foot in the door, then like a confidence trickster, insidiously steals closer to the inner sanctum (the shear nerve of it!)

Didn't bother to count up the Big Hill, as we have the right answer now, but the sign at the bottom has the picture of the horse and rider, with a "rider" saying "for 1 mile". In all the time I've been coming up here, I can't for the life of me recall seeing this horse and rider. Who is he? What a waste of signage.

After the Big Hill, but before the Big Hillock, I'm aware of a rather loud vehicle behind me. What's this? An artic! I pull over onto the grass verge to let him pass, not happy that he's invaded this domain, but don’t feel like insisting on sail before steam. Blimey, he really makes the Big Hillock look pretty damn steep as he hauls up and disappears into the mist.
I have a theory that this back road is on occasions used for underhand dealings such as smuggling trans-shipments, drug dealing and general nefarious activities. Only the birds know, and they're not telling.

As I have mentioned before, "honking" up hills has been rehabilitated in my lexicon of cycling techniques, as it helps me stay in the "golden gear" (5th), exercises my arms (by pulling on the handlebars) and last but not least gives my bum some respite from the saddle. A couple of geese go overhead, also honking.

This damn easterly wind is still with us on the tops. Cold. The winds in this part of the world are predictable in their unpredictability.

Coming down off the tops, I can hear a lark, and he seems fairly close. I look up, and he's just ascending. And which piece of music springs into my head? Perhaps you might think "Lark Ascending" by Vaughan-Williams? No, it's the bloody theme from "Are You Being Served" again (Going up!)

Down Pellon Lane, a White Van man was determined to get past me. He accelerated in his desperate rush, even though the lights a few yards ahead were red. So he had to anchor on, and I sneaked past him on the inside to get to the front of the queue. Minutes later, I had wound the "Lead Balloon" up to 28mph, and he was still determined to roar past, even though the next set of lights was also at red. Naturally, I repeated the undertaking exercise. Tired of playing leap-frog, I was glad when my left turn came up soon after.

Time out: 0:56

A strange thing happened to me on the way home. As I mentioned yesterday, I'd decided to go the scenic route, but I didn't get that far. After travelling less than 1/4 mile, I was approached by a youngish lady, in a rather revealing yellow dress (and cowboy boots), who wanted to know where she could find a phone box. She wanted to phone her boyfriend, but had no credit on her mobile phone. She needed to explain to him she'd crashed the car, having been run off the road on a country lane by a lorry. It was then that I noticed she had a few cuts and bruises.

She explained that she had just come out of the Police Station, where they had been dealing with the aftermath. She didn’t even know where she was. I told her she was in Halifax.

Apparently she'd been trapped in the BMW car. Crikes! What could I do, but lend her my mobile so she could call the boyfriend? I asked her where she lived. "Manchester" How she was going to get back there was not at all clear. She was definitely not in any condition to think straight. Her house keys and some money were still in the car, which had been taken to a garage in Sowerby Bridge.

When you're on a bike, you're a bit powerless to assist, but we hit on the plan that she'd get a taxi to the place where they’d taken her car, retrieve her keys and money and Hey, Presto! a miracle would occur. So we rang the place that had the car, to check they'd still be open. I took her to the local taxi firm, and entrusted her to them, after giving her some money for the fare.

She thanked me profusely, and I waved her on her way.

It was after that that I realised I should have got her to a hospital, as she was actually in shock. Anyway, whether I'd done the right thing occupied my mind on the ride home, then it dawned that I should phone the car place to check she'd got there safely. The lady there put my mind at rest, by saying they'd probably drive her back to Manchester.

She (the car place lady) also said that she (the car crash lady) had refused hospital treatment. I went on my way somewhat relieved (notwithstanding the fact that some fallout was to be expected with the boyfriend apropos the destruction of the BMW). Just don't tell the Rapunzels about this incident.

Time return: 1hr 30mins (extra time allowance for damsel-rescuing).

Thursday 3rd May 2007

Day off. Heard a cuckoo somewhere in the village.

Computer reset.
DST 192.34 miles
TIME 19:15:58
AVG 9.9 mph
MAX 45.3 mph